Amber, you are a helluva story-teller! What a legacy you have, too. Man, it's so sad and yet Wilma knew the fraud of it all. Thanks for sharing insight from this book and applying it to this crisis situation in the church. Those lessons are all so life-recognizing and life-giving.
Yes, I wish I’d listened to her sooner. I’ll write about this one day, but she warned me when she saw me diving deeply into evangelical streams that I was losing myself and — specifically — my zest for life and joy. It’s a painful memory because I judged her then. Lord how I wish I could hug and thank her for trying to save me.
This resonated so much with me!! I believe it would resonate with my 3 daughters who sashayed their way out of the church as soon as they were out of our house.
Linda, a learning and growing heart is the best gift we can give our children. Well done for supporting your daughters and allowing them to teach you. May we all allow these younger ones to illuminate what we’ve been unable or unwilling to see. I’m there with you!
Tears of sorrow, hope, anger, love, fury, and faith pour from all of me. We need this! We need you! Thank you for courageously saying everything you said. 🫶🏽 Side note, I read Braiding Sweetgrass for my project. SO good!!!
Girl!! Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I’ve watched women serve, give, hold up, maintain, grieve and hope for many years of my life in the church. While never being given the mutual respect of a seat at the table. Or being honoured, or paid for hard work done.
Just last night I stood my ground as a church board met and considered us for membership, and I was asked about my egalitarian stance. “So, what do you think women should be able to do?” “Everything”, I said. “Women are equally made in the image of God. Anything, and everything”.
Pam, what a perfect answer you gave them! Bravo! 👏🏽 But I share your sorrow and frustration for having to stand your ground and answer a stupid and demeaning question like that. May blind eyes be open by the gift of your presence. And please always remember you ARE a gift and one that can be taken away if not loved well.
I don’t know yet. It’s hard because I don’t even really want membership in another church that struggles to honour women’s gifts and equality. But it’s the church in my hometown that I grew up in.
What a story and legacy you have! Thank you for sharing it, along with so many concrete ways our churches can better care for, support, and honor women.
We left a church for similar reasons, although I’m currently regretting not doing it with the gusto and finality of Wilma! There was such a clear pattern of men making decisions that mostly impacted women. Men came up with the ideas and expected women to shoulder the majority of the labor to implement them. It was exhausting and demeaning, and while it took my husband awhile to see it (this was pretty early in our marriage), I’m thankful he chose to walk out the door with me. We go to a church now that celebrates, honors, and uplifts women in every position in the church. I can’t tell you the tangle of joy and sorrow and relief and excitement I felt when I first heard a woman preach. We miss out on so much when we don’t allow women to lead.
Courtney, thank you for sharing your story. I am so happy for you to have found a good, safe, life giving place. You deserve that! And kudos for your husband for taking that journey with you! ❤️
My daughter (she is 19) and I have both left the church and are very likely to never go back. The lack of caring about abused women and children, the history of racism and white supremacy, the subjugation of women, the abusive man made god they worship, the homophobia, the man made theology, elitism are our among our reasons.
That’s all so completely understandable. I’m so happy that you and your daughter have one another. I’m praying that we can work toward a future in which those things you mentioned have been replaced with love, light, and truth 🙏🏽
Kathleen, thank you for reading and for your encouragement. I will do my best to add my small voice to the chorus of women who are sounding the alarm. I cheer you on as you do the same!
I left my first church at the age of 13 for their stance on women. They would allow women to read the bible aloud, but not expound on the reading, as the lord had not granted the female mind the capacity to interpret scripture… 🙄🤬 As a straight A student in my Christian grade school, including an A in bible studies, they were basically telling me that the boys in my class getting Cs and Ds were more qualified to interpret their bible than I was by virtue of their penis. Unbelievable.
I left the church altogether during university, when I could no longer stomach the self righteous preaching and the evangelizing, the missionary decimation of other cultures in the name of jesus, the “obey your husband” rhetoric, and many more reasons. Recently, the governing body of that church rejected same sex marriage and decided not to embrace the LGBTQ+ community. The religion of “love thy neighbour” placing themselves above anyone different from the cis het male/female that they consider acceptable. I could never go back. The church refuses to listen to people like me who disagree with their hateful and discriminatory beliefs, and they use their male centric interpretation of the bible as a weapon against anyone who disagrees with them.
Kelly, everything you are saying is devastating and true. My heart aches for little you being taught that you were inferior by Christians. I pray you continue to find Jesus in the most unlikely places and that all the healing you may need from what you’ve experienced in the church comes to fullness within you. Thank you for sharing your story.
Amber, you are a helluva story-teller! What a legacy you have, too. Man, it's so sad and yet Wilma knew the fraud of it all. Thanks for sharing insight from this book and applying it to this crisis situation in the church. Those lessons are all so life-recognizing and life-giving.
Yes, I wish I’d listened to her sooner. I’ll write about this one day, but she warned me when she saw me diving deeply into evangelical streams that I was losing myself and — specifically — my zest for life and joy. It’s a painful memory because I judged her then. Lord how I wish I could hug and thank her for trying to save me.
This resonated so much with me!! I believe it would resonate with my 3 daughters who sashayed their way out of the church as soon as they were out of our house.
I am learning, but still have much to learn.
Linda, a learning and growing heart is the best gift we can give our children. Well done for supporting your daughters and allowing them to teach you. May we all allow these younger ones to illuminate what we’ve been unable or unwilling to see. I’m there with you!
Love, love, love Wilma Dean!!! Somebody needs to make a movie of her, especially when she stands up in church and curses the preacher....oh my!!!!
Oh what a movie that would be! Thank you for loving her with me, Beverly. ❤️
Tears of sorrow, hope, anger, love, fury, and faith pour from all of me. We need this! We need you! Thank you for courageously saying everything you said. 🫶🏽 Side note, I read Braiding Sweetgrass for my project. SO good!!!
Thank you for being an advocate and true lover of women, Lang. You offer a healing presence amid the challenges we’re all facing.
Girl!! Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I’ve watched women serve, give, hold up, maintain, grieve and hope for many years of my life in the church. While never being given the mutual respect of a seat at the table. Or being honoured, or paid for hard work done.
Just last night I stood my ground as a church board met and considered us for membership, and I was asked about my egalitarian stance. “So, what do you think women should be able to do?” “Everything”, I said. “Women are equally made in the image of God. Anything, and everything”.
Pam, what a perfect answer you gave them! Bravo! 👏🏽 But I share your sorrow and frustration for having to stand your ground and answer a stupid and demeaning question like that. May blind eyes be open by the gift of your presence. And please always remember you ARE a gift and one that can be taken away if not loved well.
Thank you for the encouragement! 💛😊
So, were you granted membership?
I don’t know yet. It’s hard because I don’t even really want membership in another church that struggles to honour women’s gifts and equality. But it’s the church in my hometown that I grew up in.
What a story and legacy you have! Thank you for sharing it, along with so many concrete ways our churches can better care for, support, and honor women.
We left a church for similar reasons, although I’m currently regretting not doing it with the gusto and finality of Wilma! There was such a clear pattern of men making decisions that mostly impacted women. Men came up with the ideas and expected women to shoulder the majority of the labor to implement them. It was exhausting and demeaning, and while it took my husband awhile to see it (this was pretty early in our marriage), I’m thankful he chose to walk out the door with me. We go to a church now that celebrates, honors, and uplifts women in every position in the church. I can’t tell you the tangle of joy and sorrow and relief and excitement I felt when I first heard a woman preach. We miss out on so much when we don’t allow women to lead.
Courtney, thank you for sharing your story. I am so happy for you to have found a good, safe, life giving place. You deserve that! And kudos for your husband for taking that journey with you! ❤️
Powerful!
Thank you for reading. 👊🏽Keep up the good work.
I understand the value of community. I don’t understand the value of a community based on the wit & wisdom of Bronze Age nomadic Bedouins.
John, this made me laugh out loud. 😂
My daughter (she is 19) and I have both left the church and are very likely to never go back. The lack of caring about abused women and children, the history of racism and white supremacy, the subjugation of women, the abusive man made god they worship, the homophobia, the man made theology, elitism are our among our reasons.
That’s all so completely understandable. I’m so happy that you and your daughter have one another. I’m praying that we can work toward a future in which those things you mentioned have been replaced with love, light, and truth 🙏🏽
Whew! Excellent!
Thank you for reading, April. May you sashay yourself in and out as the Spirit leads. ❤️
Dr. Hogan Jones,
Thank you.
So very many thoughts rolling about in my brain after reading this- but the primary thought is simply: Thank you. I appreciate this.
And, if I might add, keep telling this, in every format possible. While not everything needs to be said, this absolutely does!
Kathleen, thank you for reading and for your encouragement. I will do my best to add my small voice to the chorus of women who are sounding the alarm. I cheer you on as you do the same!
I left my first church at the age of 13 for their stance on women. They would allow women to read the bible aloud, but not expound on the reading, as the lord had not granted the female mind the capacity to interpret scripture… 🙄🤬 As a straight A student in my Christian grade school, including an A in bible studies, they were basically telling me that the boys in my class getting Cs and Ds were more qualified to interpret their bible than I was by virtue of their penis. Unbelievable.
I left the church altogether during university, when I could no longer stomach the self righteous preaching and the evangelizing, the missionary decimation of other cultures in the name of jesus, the “obey your husband” rhetoric, and many more reasons. Recently, the governing body of that church rejected same sex marriage and decided not to embrace the LGBTQ+ community. The religion of “love thy neighbour” placing themselves above anyone different from the cis het male/female that they consider acceptable. I could never go back. The church refuses to listen to people like me who disagree with their hateful and discriminatory beliefs, and they use their male centric interpretation of the bible as a weapon against anyone who disagrees with them.
Kelly, everything you are saying is devastating and true. My heart aches for little you being taught that you were inferior by Christians. I pray you continue to find Jesus in the most unlikely places and that all the healing you may need from what you’ve experienced in the church comes to fullness within you. Thank you for sharing your story.
Yes she was!